It is everywhere it is in our schools, churches, workplace, in homes, on the streets, and online. It comes in the form of physical, mental and cyberbullying.
What does it sound like: All Muslims are terrorists … You should kill yourself to save humanity … I am traumatized. Please get a gym membership … All Christians need to go back to the hellholes they’re from … Everyone hates you … Homosexuality is a disease .. Ugly ass fat girls need to get over themselves and go on a diet … You’re the weirdest kid in fucking school … You’re so fucking stupid … Next time you try to kill yourself do it right
What does it look like: Pushing, tripping, hitting at every given opportunity … Public humiliation … Messages left on school lockers or personal belongings … Degrading individual then laugh about it
Side effects of long term bullying: Fear to go to school or work … Lack of sleep … Anxiety … Depression … Death
A lot of the time, the victim does not know how to initially deal with bullying, especially when you do not recognize the individual that is attacking you. It is up to other people to step in and tell the attacker to leave the victim alone. Yet so many do not stand up for the victim and record the even with their phone. I call this the shock factor, unable to do anything or the fear to interfere. Some of us have had a situation where we were the victim others had someone who was the victim. You may say what you would do if you saw an aggressive situation. In a physical attack, the majority of the time, no one comes to the aid of the victim.
Let us say you do know your attacker; you have done everything that you have been told, the situation remains toxic. For children and parents, this is the case a lot of the time. This is a parent’s nightmare; the biggest problem is feeling helpless to protect your child and feel as if the attacker is getting away with everything. Months go by; nothing changes, regardless of how much you talk. Finally, the school year is over, you get a break for two months, new school year, just for everything to start all over again. You give your little one all of the advice that you can think of; things only get worse. Your little one slips more and more into depression, and now they are talking about death.
Does this sound scenario sound recognizable? Maybe it is your child, friend’s child, or a story in the news! For my situation, it was how my daughter was acting as to why she was a target. Once she was diagnosed as Functioning Autistic with ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), all bullying stopped. Slowly her old friends started to hang around her again. My situation was frustrating, but I had a positive outcome. The damage was still done and busting her self-confidence has been the main focus.
Not many have my outcome! A lot of families up and leave the area to put their child in a different school. After spending a long time fighting for their child, they believe the system is not working. The biggest thing that I realized with my situation and my friends, the child from the beginning, has low self-confidence.
So what did I do to help with my situation and what did I tell my friends. Well, taking with the principle does work to a degree, the parent can not go into the school all guns and fire, meaning yelling, screaming and blaming everyone for their child’s pain. As one of my ex-coworker would do, ten years later, moving from one school to another, she is still having issues. Aggression brings on more hostility! I went to the school wanting to protect my baby, yet at the same point, I tried to understand why the other child chooses my daughter. Half the time, it was what my daughter had said and the tone; in that case, both kids had a long talk with the principle and councillor. One girl, her parents were splitting up, and she did not know how to handle the situation. Instead of punishing the girl, she talked to a councillor. Both girls are now the best of friends. I believe that when bullying is at the beginning, that is when you want to get active, talking can, in many situations, solve the problem.
What if it escalates and all the talking in the world does not stop the situation. This is the time for a boost in self-confidence! Martial Art is a great thing to get into and no not for combat. It is proven by reports and personal experience, that it helps to build upon the confidence level. The majority of the time, a well-known bully will not target someone with high confidence. Teaching to be better than the bully and not become the bully is the lesson.
But what if the victim is an adult in the workplace, home or church? The same rules apply to this method as well. Building yourself back up again, it is imperative, a lot of the time, the attacker goes unpunished, and once you are broken down and leave, the attacker has found their next victim. Studies say that women are more likely to be harassed and bullied; I believe this to be wrong, but equal; I think males never report being attacked because it demasculinizes them.
Personally, I can not stand by and watch anyone being pushed around. I have too much of a big mouth just to record an event. Have I been punched for stepping in … Very close to it!