It is October, and two events are going on Thanksgiving and Halloween! Preparations were in the working for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was not a yeee haaa, type of thing for me! I was more like … do I have to go? Halloween, on the other hand, was one of my favourite events to get involved with. That was going to be in the working soon … I hope!

For issues with the dead, so far everything had been relatively silent. It was suggested to me several times to work on my focus. Okay! Why not, I have nothing to lose right! Step one is how you approach what you are going to do. It is understanding that if you are negative in mind, body and soul, you will attract ill will. But if your practice is a positive mind, body and soul, you will receive positive things.

Okay, I have this ingrained in my mind.

Avoid dogma … which means try many ways. And try new things. There is not one right way and what works at one moment in time may not work in a different moment in time check things out … which means just because something works for one person does not mean it will work for you. Question things and change things if you do not get the results you are wanting. Keep a detailed record of your work. Even if you do the same thing one hundred times.

Deconditioning … which means break down everything that has been told to you by sociality about belief structure and attitudes. There could be things that are stopping you from moving forward. You should not be ashamed of who you are but empowered.

Principles of knowledge … means tapping into your consciousness to find the truth of your most profound knowledge. Doing all this, I learned how to project my physical energy further at the same time keeping the same quality. To keep the same quality, I had to make it a ritual, if you want to call it, project my energy at least once a week. In doing this not only have I expand the mass, but it has also remained efficient, and the quality is the best that I have produced. I wonder why did I not think of this oh so many years ago?

Not to say I do not have visitors, I do! I primary was focusing on keeping Bayair and the Zeragill out! I was very direct in my intent. For any other irritations, those were easy to manage as well. Just like children, they need direction and rules to follow. There was no way you could misconstrue the regulations. Upset me, I will talk to you once. Upset me again, you are gone! Simple and easy to follow. Have not had to kick anything out of my bubble yet! So like I said, I do have visitors from time to time. Telling me their story or wanting to send me a message.

For myself, it is to quiet! I have grown so accustomed to chaos and mayhem, I am finding it hard to adjust. Filling the time with work around the farm, which included gardening and animals, it still was not enough to keep my mind busy. I started to do a lot more, focusing on my mind, body and soul. I was told a more positive outlook on life, I will be healthy and happy. Who does not want to be happy, I feel like I am just making it by in life. Everything is starting to fall in place, kind of, old habits sometimes are hard to break.

I still found myself looking over my shoulders, waiting for the attack that is not coming. My meditation and Tia Chi come in handy. Weeks would go by, and I spent less time looking for trouble and more on what can I do!

Doing this also helps a lot as well! I sit here behind a screen typing, each day for an hour, sometimes longer. Trying to relax and getting everything off my chest. I obviously do not document everything that goes on in my life, just the things that I find interesting or has an impact on my day. You know things like this and that!

I have spent a lot of my time working on my energy flow, reviewing my thought process and as always gathering information and asking questions. It took a bit but, I am not looking over my shoulders as much but more about seeing what is in front of me.

Has my temperament changed? In a sense, yes it has! I am listening more and not so quick to speak. I want to know all sides of the spectrum, not allowing my judgment to be swayed to one side so fast. In a sense, I am re-educating myself all over again. It is not that my beliefs have changed, that still remains the same. I am seeing if I may have overlooked something. Or have I been too judgmental because someone rubbed me the wrong way, for that my opinion had been swayed?

A part of my meditation is leaving my physical body, also known as out of body experiences. You would be surprised at what you could see if you step away from things, just to view things from a different angle. I started to see things that I had missed. Being further back, I was able to see a larger picture. My mind was blown away with all the information that I did not have. I thought that I knew things, yet it was not the full story. In many ways, I still believe that there are many things that I am overlooking. It could be that I am on information overload, or as per normal speeding threw things as fast so I can get the jiff of everything.

Why am I putting this in my journal, simply because I know there is a need for change. Things are not getting more manageable for me but more complicated. Technology is changing, lifestyles are changing, as well I am changing. I need to know the five W’s and how is it going to affect me.

Believing firmly that consciousness makes up the brain and not the other way around. I think of it like this … the brain is like a computer, it receives whatever messages are being sent. The consciousness is the sending of messages. I can take my consciousness and do deep sea diving and store all the information in my mind. Keeping in mind when I say deep sea diving, I am talking about placing my mind in a state of lucid dreaming. The mind is like a computer remember, it has the capacity to do anything you want, you just have to know how to use everything to the fullest. After I go deep sea diving, I can rummage through my finding,dissect the information possible do more research, after all that is done file it properly into labelled files.

I was doing this not only for the physical realm also for the other realms too. Only a few times after deep sea diving was I close to overload and crashing and burning! Last night was one of those nights, everything just came at me full force, and it did not stop.

I have sat night after night, just listening. Sometimes they do not even notice that I am there, eas dropping! Other times they know I am there, acting as if I am not there at all! Which seems to be fine from all parties. The Zeragill’s do not even look my way. This is what I see …

1- I have nothing to give them

2- at this point in time, I have nothing they want

3- they are still searching to find out exactly who I am!

Akkadian’s view me as a child! In this mind frame, they have the tenancy to speak down to me. There is a great deal of mistrust, no foundation for either side to stand on and, for sure no loyalty. For one reason we still have communication, short and sweet and that is it. In the gust of the wind sometimes I hear ‘this does not add up, look again!’ I can only assume they were talking about me. The Akkadian’s did have information about me, the file, everything was jumping all over! Nothing they had on me was in the correct timeline.

I was gathering information by sight and feeling. I could read hundreds of books, I would only e reading the writers interpretation of what was being written. I have heard that a picture can say a thousand words … that might be so! And in the end, you still only have half of the information that you need. I wanted everything and anything! What was I searching for … their truth, facts, fiction and everything in the grey zone!

Over and over again, I hear, ‘the truth can hurt!’ No, the truth does not hurt, it is a fact you do not like what you are hearing and or how it is being presented! I relearned this over again last night!

What is not new for me, I sat or floated, whatever, you want to call it! It was the Earth that I was viewing, it kind of reminds me of one of those big beach balls. A feeling of sadness feels my body all the time! I do not cry, it is not a tear-jerking emotion. Though this night, a member from the Akkadians, confronted me. Keep in mind that everything they believe about mankind has never been spoken to me out front. It is only something that I overhear. His opinions were loud and clear once he started to speak to me. There was no mistake of his distrust as well as dislike, in my presents, species, and existence!

Word for word that I can not remember what was spoken, so it went something like this … pointing out that the Earth does not belong to humanoids! It was meant for all species, that they, meaning his kind, are going to remind us of that very soon! As a side note, with great effort, I did not say a thing!

I allowed him to speak his mind … and I mean a great deal of effort not to say a word! He told me and I quote “you, and your kind are a science experiment that had gone wrong and should be discontinued! Why I am still living, he will never understand! I am nothing but a cosmic joke!” I would guess that it was about this time I started to taste blood, I had bit my tongue a little too hard.

He then went on to say that “in two hundred and something odd years, we have done more harm than any good.” Mentioning things like “killing of species well before their time, destroying plant life! Polluting the air, land, and waters with our waste. The world used to have order and balance, now it is struggling!” Okay! He has a point there, I can not deny this!

Then he goes on to say something about rebirth and making the same mistakes and not improving. In his opinion, “we are degenerate mishaps that should never have happened. We claim to be sending out positive energy and love, yet search for negative situations.” What he was pretty much getting at, we contradict everything we say and do.

“Our loyalty is boughten and sold with the crack of a whip … and when someone can do something, they ran and hid like a child!” There was nothing that he did not say, that did not have some remote truth to it. The problem that I had was the tone in which he spoke to me. The other issue was he had painted everyone with the same brush. The attack did not stop there, then he started to attack my personality and behaviour. Telling me that “I am the rudest humanoid he has ever seen! I have no discipline or direction! My sense of style is revolting! I had no right to speak of respect, for I have none for the living nor nonliving! I believe in nothing, and I am self-absorbed!” And just when I thought he was finished, he slapped me across the face, once more, not literally though! “I do not respect authority, nor do I address them accordingly. I speak out of turn by interrupting whoever is talking!”

I stood there, angry and ready to lash out! All I could think of was ‘how dare you!’ You know nothing about me! You have no idea what I have been through! As I am processing everything, the light went off! He will never know who I am, I have made it that way. The opinions are based primarily on what he observes. The majority will always out way the few, the acts of kindness are far and in between. It is easier to make one brush stroke then paint a canvas with several different colours. I know this because this is the behaviour that I am trying to curve. Just as I was about to leave, he asked me if I had anything to say. I pointed out the movement out in the far distance, making an observation of my own. I told him that maybe he should be more concerned about the eyes that were watching us versus acting like a humanoid.

Oh, you got it right, I compared his behaviour to that of a human. In the short period of him lipping off to me, he displayed the same characteristics of a human. At least I can say the apple does not fall that far from the tree! What do I mean by this, is if we looked hard enough, sooner or later our paths will cross the gene pool line. HIS kind chose rebirth at one point in time that I am sure of. Oh and what was also very gratifying, he spent all that time purposefully putting down my species. It took only one sentence to insult him. Am I proud of myself … you bet your last dollar I am!

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