several sets back, my little cabin is almost done. The weeks went by,
and now we are heading into September. I will have to admit that I
will be happy when I can finally move into my little home and off the
ground. The time spent sleeping in a tent was great for the most
part, my back was screaming at me to get off the ground. With the
time that was given to me, I spent a lot of time questioning
everything, even myself! I spent a lot of time sitting and listening
to everything around me. I spent time reteaching myself and adjusting
to my new life.
After several times of Brianne asking me to join another one of her sessions. I finally said, yes! So I went sat in there and listened and observed everything. The topic was enlightenment and spiritual work. Enlightenment is identifying your true self. Not being attached to materials, in other words, do you need it or want it. Live the life you want to live, not the life society wants you to live.
To sum up everything it is the understanding of yourself and how you present yourself to others. Then came the spiritual work aspect! It was kind of funny when I heard someone ask what spiritual work is?
It is not just meditation or praying, there is so much more to it. The work aspect is understanding yourself, which ties into the enlightenment part, but this goes further. Tapping into your inner mind that sometimes does not come out until you are asleep. Understanding the symbolizes or messages that come to your subconscious mind. This can be achieved threw dream journals, objects, meditation or preying. In a world that is programming you, you can start to shape your mind so that you are the main programmer. At least this was what Brianne was discussing.
I learned a few things while sitting here. One the newbies, they asked questions to clarify or gather examples. Two without even putting much thought into things, I have been doing this for as long as I can remember. Three, how critical I am! In the beginning, I just shook my head when a newbie would ask a question. At first, I was thinking you should already know this, like how blind do you have to be not to see this stuff. I had to step out of my body and hit myself over the head. Not everyone understands, and what comes naturally to me may not for others. Verification of something may be necessary to others. So I really need to stop being stupid and understand not everyone understands, and they would like answers.
At the end of the discussion, there were refreshments and something to eat for everyone. Many crowded around the food and drinks while I stood off to the side, watching everyone. Vera had come up to me at one point and asked me what I thought. The first thing that came to my mind was how hard it must be to be a teacher and to speak about something that is for a natural easy to understand, yet when you talk about what you are passionate about making it sound so much more complicated than it actually has to be. Then I was asked if I was able to relate at all. I guess in a sense I did, it is something that I had practised unknowingly as a young child. That is where the relationship ends. I have taken things further, and this is where I am different from others in this group. To explain things to Vera not only did I want to leave, but I would have to use examples so that she would be able to understand. I did not know if I wanted to go into such detail. All I could say is that with understanding myself, I also appreciate the darkness and light. They are one side of the whole.
I continued to listen on into the conversations that were going on. For the most part, it was what others were doing to find their inner light and how happy and calm they have been feeling. If something is making you feel all nice and warm inside your going to keep on doing it. From collecting, gardening to physical activity. If it gives you a sense of energy, which in turn brings joy, your going to keep on doing it. If I were in their shoes, I would do the same thing too! So as my mother once said, “if you have nothing nice to say, keep your mouth shut.” And that is what I was doing.
I remembered a dream I had not too long ago. This whole class reminded me of lightworkers, this would have been connected to the Zeragill. I had a great deal of hatred towards the Zeragill, though I did try to contain that anger. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs what was going on and how they were being deceived. For the few, this was not a religion in any sense but for self-growth. On the other side of the coin, I had also acknowledged that this was no different than a lot of dark workers. Once again, this for the person could be self-growth and had nothing to do with the Zeragill. I just so badly wanted to yell that the Zeragill, they are one side of the whole and no one sees it. Yet those that do like me, we do not try to explain it. We see things as they are, search out for one another, and if a stranger is willing to listen, we explain what is actually going on. No one wants to think that it is possible that the Zeragill are both angels and demons, working for the same side yet one is acting like the good cop while the other one is the bad cop.
Three bodies were heading in my direction while I stood in the corner. Brianne passed me a drink, telling me it was coffee. Well, it is official, she can read minds now too. With Brianne was Ash and Felix. There was a small chit chat between the group as I kept quiet. Out of nowhere, Felix started asking me questions. I guess it would be considered normal everyday things, like how are you? What have you been up to? Away I guess to add me to the group conversation. I felt as if there was something else Felix wanted to talk about, and I was not sure if it was something I wanted to talk about in this location. So I said I needed to go for a walk. Felix told Brianne that he would make sure that I get back safe and sound.
Outside, his energy changed and was a lot brighter than he was before. Where he would be standing, it was as if the energy from the earth flowed into him and back to the earth. I found this to be interesting, I had not seen this before! Everywhere energy was flowing into him and then back out. To be honest, though it was an eye-catching moment, the brightness was starting to give me a headache. I began to head in the direction of shade, hoping that would take the intensity down a couple of notches. Sadly it did not, he was then gathering and releasing energy from the trees. The first thought that came to mine was what was going on? I have never seen someone have an energy flow like this … ever! I told Felix what I had been seeing around him. Felix did say he was a bit different from everyone else and, has always known that.
I sat on the ground and, mentioned how pleasant the weather was. Likewise, Felix agreed. He mentioned how his garden had done very well this year. That it had been many years since he had great success with his little garden. Felix pointed in the direction of the Zeragill and, ask if I had had many issues with them. I looked at them as they stood at the edge of the road just staring at Brianne’s property. Though they had been seen, there was no taunting nor miss hasp. Things had been very quiet I kind of had an idea why but was not entirely sure. I told Felix that I have tried to keep my nose to the ground, so to say. I was not counting my eggs yet, when this happens, I use this time to relax and energize. This does not mean I keep my guard down, I just get to relax for a period of time before the big storm.
I told Felix that they are a continuous reminder that I will never have complete peace. To avoid them, I found a pathway from my cabin to Brianne’s house. They can look on in, yet are not able to physically touch me. The road is where they stand day and night. Sometimes there is a row of them glaring at me with so much hatred. Yet nothing is going on!
This was about the time that Felix told me that his spirit guide has been talking to him. Actually, for some time, I think Felix said like four or six months now. And his guide was talking about me, at least that was his interpretation. Felix’s guide said that I was next to untouchable. Personally, I could not help myself, I had to laugh. Untouchable and me, that seemed to be somewhat right analogy.
I let Felix continue to speak, the feeling of a sales pitch was coming or at least something close to it. I could feel it in my bones and blood. Felix told me that for many years, his guide and friends had been trying hard to talk to me, but I have a wall so thick, it is hard for them to reach me. A few times they had been able to speak to me, but they are unsure if I was able to get their messages. Felix asked me if I had any dreams that seemed a little different from the ordinary? I asked him to continue to talk, and I would respond later. Felix made an offhand comment that I really do not like to talk. I corrected him, I love to talk, there is just a time and place.
Felix said fair enough and, he continued to speak on and on about his guide and friends. By this time, I think he knew better than to ask me yes or no questions. What I found interesting is though it was not very descriptive, Felix did describe a lot of things that I have seen several times over, since I was a young child. The main things being circles with pathways. The paths leading to doors. The only thing Felix had gotten wrong is that I was able to open the doors and go through them, where he has never been able to access all the doors. Arches, that was another thing that Felix was talking about. On the other side of the arches, there were different scenes to different arches. For me, there were fields, woods, sand, and so on. So this is was one other thing that we related too. Felix talked about the Us’us, which he called them the children of the sisters and brothers, or also known as the fallen! After a long time of him talking to me, he asked me a question that I had never thought about before. When an entity is talking to me, do I hear them as if they are talking to me … standing in front of me speaking? Or do I feel them talking to me … inside my mind and I can hear voices or see pictures?
I actually had to think about this, it stumped me. Up to this point, all entities were the same. It was their intentions that defined them. No different than humans. I had to go back to my childhood to the present date to figure out this question. And I have had both ways of communication. Felix asked me to think back to the visit to Ash’s place. Did I hear them with my ears, or did I listen to them in my mind? I could not answer Felix. To give a definite answer that had no doubt, though I wanted to say with my ears. This was when bits and pieces of that dream started to pop in and out of my mind. Next, to the government and monopolized corporations, I hate being lied to. This feeling was getting under my skin. I had to tell Felix about the dream that I had had!
This was my dream … I was standing in the distance. Close enough to see structures of buildings but far enough that I could not see detail. I can not remember the name of the entity that was speaking to me. To be honest, I am horrible with names. She was showing me her world. Bragging about how peaceful and, nice it is to be there. In a sad sense, I think she believed her own words. This lady was like everyone works together to better themselves and humanity. Mentioning how there is a great partnership going on. I allowed her to finish her sales pit, I know that it is her job to do so.
She asked me if I wanted to join the team and work for the better good. When she said that I looked at her and asked, “what is the better good? How are things getting better when there is so much hate?” I was not buying into her sales pitch! I am a bitter and callous individual. And to be frank, she was bragging about how great everything is, yet I did not see how GREAT everything was. I saw the outline of building structures from the far. Group together a bunch of buildings, add people and voila you have a city. And this is what came to my mind … it is just another city! I was not impressed nor was I ooowing or awwwing either.
She was like, “the better good for humans of course. To provide a sustainable lifestyle for all.” In the back of my mind, I was thinking to achieve what? She was like we are having issues with this and that, and we need help. And if we all work together, we can achieve this and that. I changed the channel before I started to puke. Seriously I was scared that she was going to ask me to hold hands with her and start singing Kumbaya and, I was not going to allow that to happen. I had asked her what she has done to help out others? She could not answer the question! “I may not be in a group per-say! I may not walk in a straight line as everyone does. When it comes to doing things that benefit others, I do it in my own way. The Zeragill have always had an ulterior motive behind everything they want to be done. So as much as I know, you believe the words that are coming out of your mouth, you really need to question everything that is going on. You can dress me up, slap on make-up and add jewellery too. I am the same person under all that crap. I will give it to the Zeragill, it looks pretty, lovely to the eyes, and yet it still smells like a dump site! A little advice, question who the real enemy is here!” After I finished that rant, I left, feeling sorry for this lady. She was a mindless sheep like so many. Walking in a straight line to the beating of the drum. She might not be human, but she is bound by unseen chains. The person that is tugging on those chains is those that work in the high council.
Felix was like, “do you vote?” I kinda scrunched my facial muscles and was like “yeah!” He was so, “how do you decide who you are going to vote for?” It took thirty seconds, and I started to laugh. “I picture myself bent over and decide who will do the less damage! … I actually always vote for the Green Party, one year they will get plenty of seats, and real changes will start to happen.” Felix was having a laughing fit. He was like “a good way to put things.” Once he was able to calm himself down. “Would you consider listening to my guides? Nothing more, just listen to their story and what they have to say!”
I thought about it … Jazzgoth had set up a meeting with his associates. I did go, listened for the most part. I told Felix that it would not be any worse than the others. He sets up the meeting, and I will go to the secure location. Felix wanted to know what had happened at the meeting that I had gone too.
It was about a week after the bonfire gathering even. Jullian had gone back to the states and his job. He ended up getting a hold of Brianne to find out how to get a hold of me. Since Brianne was more at ease with the meeting being at her place, then I was. We did a video chat. Jazzgoth had informed me that they were lower-ranking personal, but they were working with the collective. If I would meet up with them, the discussion could start.
So the date was planned, and I got to the destination. There had been three of them waiting for me, on the trail near the water. They started to talk, one thing that Jazzgoth told me to do was to keep my walls up. The word was out that the Bayair queen was looking for a one-way route to earth. And the word is out they may have found a way, there is a door master that is on earth. The Zeragill have been ordered to stop everything and find the door master. Little information is given about the door master, but now everyone is rushing around to find all the door masters. It was Jazzgoth’s understanding that all door masters had gone into hiding. It was a warning that I did not need, I fully intended to protect myself. The other information was just a bonus for me.
They started off the conversation with “we heard that you know where the Bayair’s are hiding?” I was like, “I have a feeling I know where you can find them.” Some individual was like, “you other know or you do not!” The smallest of the group was like, “I told you this would be a waste of time. Talking to this animal is nothing but a joke. These animals have no sense of honour or loyalty.”
In the back of my mind, I was thinking ‘this was a waste of my time to take a cab, then a bus, bouncing all over the grid so I could not be followed. To meet up with wannabe thugs!’ The third one was quiet only because he was telepathic. Not only was he sending out messages, but he was receiving them at the same time. Not only was I able to hear what he was receiving, but I could also see what he was seeing. They were sending him messages to ask me. The questions the third one asked me were “what was my relationship with the Bayair’s? How would I know about them? Who was my contact?” The questions or I should say interrogation, kept on coming. The only thing that brought me great pleasure was knowing they did not know who I was nor what I am. It might have been the biggest mistake that I had ever done, I guess I will find out the consequences later. I turned the table on them with what I think was equal aggression. I was like, “I am just a humble creature with little possibilities! You three, on the other hand, are powerful and all knowledgeable. So why do you have such a hard time finding the one that can create and close doors … door master, I do believe you called it!” I turned on my heels and left the location! As you can imagine, they did try to interfere with my departure, I bounced them across the river, and I was gone. The mistakes I made was. First, I go there, the second show of my strength, last giving out information. What I do know about the Zeragill’s: exceptional telepaths, completely clueless drones, and from what I have met or seen, they are on a superior hi that I plan on kicking from under their feet!
Felix was puzzled by ‘door master’ so I let him on in on the secret. “The door master is someone that protects enters ways. They normally only watch one door. These are doors that already exist. Their job may seem mundane, but they gather information on whom goes in and out of these doors. From entities to people like you and I. They keep track of how often they are used as well. See, each door connects to the next one and so on. It might seem crazy at the beginning, but really, it is not. It is a means of getting from one location to another fast. Like the subway system! It is rare, but it can happen where an individual can make their own doors. The problem with this is, it requires a great deal of focus, and you have to know where you are going. Since it takes up a great deal of energy and focus, no one has bothered to do so in …. like forever. There has been no need to do so, everyone is comfortable with what is here now! So essentially I pretty much told them they are looking for someone that can make doors. And whom they are hiding is for nothing. This is assuming that the three jerks are smarter than the average animal!”
Felix clapped and rubbed his hands together and started to laugh! Remarking that I am the most significant pain that he has ever known. A spitfire that is about to blow things out of this world. It was his belief that is why his guides have been trying so hard to get a hold of me. Pulling a coin out of his pocket, he rubbed it in between his hands. Then handed to me, telling me I would know what to do with this. I nodded my head and said, “yes, I do!”
Felix suggested that the next time Benjamin or Brianne come his way, I should too. See his world and everything that I had been missing. I told Felix that I would think about it. Getting up off the ground, I realized how sore my rump was. Out of nowhere, my head was spinning in different directions. How this happened … it could be possible things that just kept on piling up. Getting up off the ground, conversation topic we were having, add in the coin and things can get a little weird. Standing in one spot, I allowed things to calm down. People were leaving, so I knew Brianne’s group was only getting smaller.