There was a knock at the door from outside. I was still in bed, not realizing that the sun was up and greeting everyone with a smile. I yelled loud enough to hold on I needed to get dressed. Crystal was on the other side, waiting for me to open the door. I allowed Crystal to come in kind of surprised that she was here. When I asked why Crystal was here, she told me that the job let her go, that the person she was filling in for, had come back to work early. I had no idea what to say, I saw the good and bad of the situation. And I was not going to say anything until she did. Crystal asked me to get my stuff. She has an appointment for me, and we had to get there soon. It was not a ‘told me’ … it was more like an order. Crystal will disagree with this, but it was more of an order. And well the past has shown me if you can not run from a pregnant Crystal than do as you are told.


In the car, I asked Crystal what the appointment about was. She had a friend from when she was in high school that specializes in different eye conditions. She told me that her friend was doing this as a favour. Back in high school, her friend was having family issues. So she would let her friend cheat by copying her test. They were smart enough about it that her friend would put just enough wrong answer but enough right ones to get a B. When the time came that Crystal needed help, is she could help out she promised to be there. I did not ask any more questions. I will tell you this I did laugh at the thought of Crystal helping a friend to cheat. Squeaky clean Crystal doing something naughty, I will remember this one!


So we get to this place that looks like a house. Nadine greats us at the front door, unlocking it she takes me to the back room. Crystal tells her everything that medically that has happened. I gave a brief rundown of things that Crystal did not mention. A little birdy whisper “tell her about us! She will understand.”


While Nadine was doing her thing, I got the feeling that she was looking over my shoulder at the little birdy that kept on whispering in my ear. Finally, Necia pipped up and said, “you hear them too!” I was like “Yyyyeep! Day and night, you?” Necia chuckled, “at the most inappropriate timing too!” I was like, “you too! I could be on the john trying to have a dump, and they would be like I need to tell you something. I will tell them to wait two minutes and do you think they would stop talking … nope, they have to tell me their life story!” We all laughed for a bit then we got down to business.

Nadine wanted more information from about my eyes. So I told her it is like looking at a thermal camera. I am seeing energy frequency. I can make out words if the writing is large! “I see!” is all Necia said as she put the object down on the table nearby. So she summed it up like this for me. “The head injury was the final straw! The blackouts, irregular heartbeat and all the injuries … well, they have finally caught up with me. For one reason or another, my mind has allowed myself to see in a different sense. The damage that has been done well over two decades, it can not be repaired. To explain this to any other doctor, they will order test after test, they will not be able to explain this in a way that they can understand. As a professional to get the disability papers going, there is one other test that needs to be completed, a scan of my brain. It will give reason to the cause of the sight impairments. For others to understand that I see energy, well in her opinion, no one needs to know, and I do not need to explain. Many if not all will not understand.” Nadine explained the test to me in great detail, everything in which I did not like.


An MRI will be done to examine my brain, large magnet and radio waves will show the brain injuries that have happened in the past. This should be all that is needed to fill out the disability papers.


It was time for Nadine to open her business up and we had to take our leave. I sat in the car with my right arm resting on the door. Over and over in my mind, I kept on saying I hate this. I do not like the idea of a test on my head. Driving down the road, I broke the silence that was between us. I did not want to be a complainer, but this time, I could not hold it in. All Crystal kept on saying was “I know!” what did she know … she did not understand how messed up my head was, but I did! I know that I am an oddball.


Everything about me and my life is sheep manure. And every doctor whats to check my head … for what? To know that I am screwed. No, Crystal did not know! She had no idea how scared I am nor how much I fear to get my head scanned. A scan would validate the damage done to me. I would have to repeat the stories over and over again. I just want to move on and try to have a relatively healthy life!


My brain is like a plate with scrambled eggs with a side order of bacon. That is what they were going to find. Crystal pulled into the parking lot of her place and turned off the car. She positioned herself so that she was looking directly at me. “I know you feel alone. I know you keep everyone away, so they do not get hurt and only you. I know you are angry and beyond frustrated. But you are not alone. If I were walking in your shoes, I would protect those I love too, in the same manner as you are! This was to get possible answers. Also, Nadine was told in advance, that there was no way in hell you were going to get any test done beyond what she was doing. At least not without being hog-tied and dragged to the clinic.”


I broke down crying, well so did Crystal. Getting our emotions in check, we went up to the apartment where there were boxes everywhere. Dropping the keys off on the kitchen counter, Crystal started to fill a box with items. I grabbed a box and asked what I to pack was. The first things that Peter and Crystal wanted to get rid of were things they were going to sell at the churchyard sale. It was a fundraiser, money to fix the church roof. Since there was pretty much everything at the house, many things were not going to be needed. The sale was not going to happen for a couple of months, so they were just going to pack up things and store them at the church.


I was game for helping out, it allowed me to do something besides think. I could not believe this we ran out of boxes! In two hours, we had packed ten or more boxes. It was amazing how many things they had that just sat around the place and were not used. Just in closets and cupboards. Crystal was starting to get run down, so she decided that she was going to go for a nap after she grabbed something to eat for lunch. I made sure that I placed my duffel bag near the door entrance out of the way so I could grab it on the way out. It had everything that a girl could need. Change of clothing, tampons, shampoo and conditioner. And money for emergency use only. There were small other items like a picture of my mom, brush for my hair and toothbrush. If I had to run with the snap of a finger, this was the bag I would grab and go. Before Crystal went to retire for a bit, I told her that I was going to have a small rest than I was going to head back to the hotel.


The place was so quiet that I think I could hear a pinfall and hit the floor. I could hear foot movement above me. Cars going by outside and a dog barking in one of the units. Other than that it was very quiet. It did not take long, and soon I could hear a faint sound of Crystal snoring. I pat my pockets to find my phone, and I placed it on top of the duffel bag, along with the hotel keys. I sat there for a bit wondering how much it would cost to fix their church roof. Take away the religious part of their group, they help the community from helping with food, clothing to shelter. They are a big part of their lives. I thought about the money that I squirrelled away in my bag.


At last count, there were close to one thousand dollars there. As of now, there is very little that I need. I checked my pockets for change to see if there was enough to get on the bus and go to the church. Unfortunately, I had change but it was not enough to get on the bus. From here to the church, I was looking at a two-hour walk. So what did I do … you got it I started to walk!

I was pretty familiar with the church layout and knew where Peter or his grandfather would be. I went to the back office, where I could hear only one voice, grandfather. I rapped on the door with my knuckles and waited for an invitation to walk in. It was not the warm welcome, hello, but it was still a hello. I did not waste any time getting to the point of why I was there. I plopped my bag on the floor and started to open it. I told him what Crystal had told me at the apartment. He did confirm it, the roof did not need to be fixed tomorrow, but it would need to be repaired in a year. It was overdue for a makeover. I pulled out my Tampon box, lipstick tub, socks and panties, revealing what was hidden in them.


I handed the money over to grandfather. I made it very clear that if he mentions my name to anyone, I will never help a living soul ever again. This was for Peter, I did not want my name associated with his business. And since this was cash, there was no paper trail. Grandpa was to record the money as anonymous. Grandpa gave me a hug and told me I was a good child, lost but a good child. I smiled, asked him if he could call me a cab, so I could get back to the hotel. Grandpa told me that he would take me to the hotel, grandpa was going to check up on Janet and Albert, soon anyway. It was not that much out of his way, so I took his offer.


Before we were out of the city, I asked if he would mind stopping at a store so that I could buy a couple of packs of cigarettes. That is when grandpa mentioned that he thought that I quit. I thought about that, but the last couple of days have been off for me. I asked if the funeral arrangement were finalized for Shelby tomorrow. Which grandpa said that Peter was making the final arrangement now. I wondered if they had the ex-boyfriend in jail yet. As far as grandpa knew, the ex was wanted for questioning and had not yet been found. Nothing was said after that, all I could think of is the ex-boyfriend’s deeds will catch up with him even if the police do not!


Harald was just stepping out of the building when he saw us pulling into the driveway. Harald came out to greet Peter’s grandfather. Harald came up to the driver’s side, started to chat with grandfather. It was not my business what they were talking about, so I made my leave. Collecting my bag, I lit a smoke and started to head to the door of my room. Just as I was turning the corner, my name was being bellowed from grandfather. Turning slightly, I was like “yes!” I had been asked to come back to the vehicle.

Listening to what both Harald and grandfather had to say. I asked Harald if he had the letter that was sent to him from the government. He told me it was at his family hobby farm. I knew that if he could read the letter to me word for word, I would have a better idea of what was going on. The jiff of it all was that the government was forcing Harald off the land he has been using for years. His family has worked the land for 215 years. And he does not want to move. I put things in a way that he can understand me.

“Harald may have his name on the land, but it is the government that he is renting from. The government can do this as long as there is fair compensation! If he wanted to fight this, he would have to go publicly, social media is his best bet. They will have to use their brains for tactics and modern technology to win against the government.” What I said sent Harold off in a rant with a lot of cursing. Once he calmed down a bit, he apologized to me for his language. I told him I was no blushing bride, and can probably give him a run for his money on foul language.


Harald could not believe that the government could do such a thing. I once again put it in a way for him to understand me. “The government is always looking for progress. If the land can bring in profit and create jobs, they are going to take land so they can start their projects. Everything is always about the dollar sign, no one ever considers the farmer’s attachment to the land and the love they have for it. Corporations only see the possibilities of more money, more of this and that. If he was to win this war, he needed support and a lot of it.” There was so much pain and sorrow in Harald’s voice, his words cracked, I think between his anger and sadness he was ready to cry. Who could blame this man, he was in his late 60s, and everything he has had all of his life was about to be taken from him. I told Harald that if he was willing, bring everything, from the deeds of the land to the letter from the government. I would need him to read it to me, but I would see if I can think of a loophole or an idea of what he could do to save his land!

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