It had felt like I just got to sleep when the sun started to hit my face. The first thing that crossed my mind was … five more minutes! I dozed off for some time until I heard footsteps going into the washroom. I moaned as slowly I placed one foot on the floor than the other. I pushed myself up into the sitting position and waited for the washroom to be free. I heard Peters voice, “bathrooms free and the door shut.” Went in and started the shower, made sure I had my clothing ready and towel. Halfway through I heard I have to go pee, I told Crystal the shower curtain was closed come on in. This is my theory when there is only one washroom, and three people are sharing one location, shower curtains have two purposes, to keep the water from getting on the floor and hiding the nude body of the person inside the tub. Is there a problem … I do not see one. It is not like I am using the toilet, it is free for the using. So yes Crystal came on in to do her duties. I turned off the water open the curtain and long behold Crystal was already gone. Did what I had to do, and when I got to the kitchen, a hot cup of coffee was waiting for me. When I noticed Peter, I did apologize for taking his side of the bed. He started to joke around by saying, “you eat my food and now you are trying to steal my wife.” I choked on coffee when I heard Crystal say “Peter!” Well, I was not going to stand there and take it, so I was like, “well now that you mentioned it …” Peter and I laughed so hard when Crystal sai,d “I can not believe you two. You are like children fighting over their mother!” Peter kept it going, “I am older than you, she was mine first.” Of course, I could not be outwitted “beauty before age!” Well, Peter was like, “mommy says she loves me all the time!” We all laughed heartily when Crystal tried to scroll us playfully, “do you two need to be sent to different corners?” both Peter and I said “yes.”
Which he added in, “I might need a spanking too!” This time it was Crystal that choked on her coffee while we laughed for a while. I mouthed to Peter that Crystal was all mine and pointed the finger at my chest. And all I could see was Peter shaking his head no. We chuckled a bit at our playful mannerism. It had been some time since we all acted like this. It was nice for once to be laughing and not frowning. Crystal asked both of us what our plans were for the day. I mentioned how I was doing a favour for Brianne, inadvertently I had totally forgotten to mention that to Crystal yesterday.
While Peter said, he had to make preparations for the funeral of Shelby. That also was another thing that was forgotten. Crystal first reaction was, “oh is that not the same Shelby your sweetheart from high school.” Slowly the wheels in Crystal’s head started to turn, it then turned to ”wow the same Shelby from high school.” Peter told his side of the story. When it came to my turn, I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “I only saw the spirit of the poor girl, before anyone knew she was dead. It was a regular day in the life of Zita … see the dead … irritate others … you know the things that bad girls do!” In all honesty, I did not know Shelby. The circumstances of Shelby’s death was horrific, and for that, I will show emotions, but the shock that someone is dead and I saw them, nah! That I have little to no emotions for. I asked what time it was, it ended up being 7:34. I still had plenty of time before I had to be at the church. Peter offered to give me a ride, though I would be sitting around for an hour. I hymned about it then said sure, as long as I was not going to upset his grandfather. It just so happened that his grandfather was not going to be at the church that day. He was going to be assisting Shelby’s father in the preparations for the funeral. That was a bonus for me. Then it crossed my mind, I got the cell phone and asked Crystal to program the phone for me. All I had to do was swipe it to the left or right when the phone would go off. There were only two people that as of now had my number. So they both had their own personalize ringer that I had to memorize.
I sat in the church while I waited to be picked up. The sun might have been out, but it was a chilly morning. I kept on looking around the church. After yesterday, I was more alert to what was going on. Needless to say, I did not want to get caught with my pants down at my ankles. At one point, Peter came out of his office and told me that my ride was here.
Stepping outside, Benjamin honked the horn to show me where he was located. He let me know that we had roughly an hour and a half drive, he was going to stop for coffee. And if I had to go to the washroom that was the time to go. To me, he seemed a bit short-tempered. It could be that he was not a morning riser or there was an underlining issue that was none of my business. Or it could have been the combination of both, another way it was not my place to say anything. As we were getting close to the edge of the city, he pulled into the gas station to fuel up, and I went in to use the washroom.
Us females we have such a small bladder you know, so when given the option, you better try and go pee. When I came back out, I saw him paying for the gas and heading to get a coffee. Benjamin asked if I would like a coffee and with no hesitation, I said: “yes an extra-large double-double, please and thank you”! We got back into the truck and started to get out of the city. It was so peaceful looking out the window. Beforehand Benjamin asked if I mind listening to the country station. I chuckled and said it was his truck, he can put on whatever he wants to listen to. He mentioned how Brianne detests country music and always complains when he is listening to it. All I could think of is it could be worse!
A very long time we just sat there listening to the music I was looking out the window, and he kept his eye on the road. I do not remember the last time I felt like this, peaceful and calm. It was like there were no worries in the world that could touch me rate now. The world had stopped to show me its beauty. I guess this is what is meant when someone says, “stop and smell the roses!”
I was brought back to reality by Benjamin shuttering out of nowhere, “what is wrong with people?” I needed more clarification, more or less, what area was he talking about. He rambled on that all he wanted to do was see his kids, that is all he was asking. I personally do not think that is much to ask. And I had a good idea now of why I felt like he was short-tempered. I asked him what was wrong, though I did not need to ask, I kind of already could see the picture forming. He told me his side of the story. The day he was to pick up the children at the location that his ex said to be at, the children had not been there. At the time that she had told him to be there. Once again, he was denied access to the children. It was advised by his friend the lawyer to call the police station and have in hand the court order. The officers did their job and reported back to him that she had taken time off work and went on vacation outside of Ontario. Benjamin did admit that he lost his temper while the cop was in his presence and now was worried that will look bad on him in the future. I told him to continue with his story, he was glad to do so.
Because there is no order stating that the ex has to have permission by him, meaning Benjamin, she can take the children out of Ontario at any time. As Benjamin was telling me his side of the story, I could feel his frustration building. He was a ticking time bomb! I actually did not know what to say, I had no advice on the matter. I also had no words of comfort that would ease his suffering. All I could do is let him talk. And that is what Benjamin did! One point he asked me if I thought he was a good man? I was honest I did not know, I have only met Benjamin a couple of time, sometimes the judgement of a person takes a while. I did add, I thought his situation seemed unjust! It was the first time since I got in the truck that I saw him energy lift to a positive. Benjamin told me he admired my honesty, there are not enough people in the world that are honest. Most tell him what he wants to hear, but I did not. I thought to myself, only if others would think like Benjamin does I would have fewer enemies. I asked Benjamin if the officers found his ex-wife and children, which they did last night. In my mind, it was clear, the ramifications of her actions are going to go against her.
Time had gone by, and things had been silent, it gave me time to think. Benjamin’s question, ‘what is wrong with people?’ I believe what he was saying is ‘what is wrong with his ex-wife?’ Little information is given to me about her, but I can see a picture building and the video is playing. She is alienating the children from their father. I wondered how often does she lie? How often did she make others feel small and unable to do anything, right? Has she ever thought about anyone else but herself? Does she believe herself to be superior to others in her life or workplace? What has she done for others and not expected anything in return? No, I can not picture her doing anything without self-gain. I imagine her taking advantage of others and laughing in their faces. As all these thoughts are going through my mind I look over to the man that is driving, maybe the way for him to win his case is not to cave in to her demands, but to prove that the ex-wife is alienating the children from their father and manipulating everything to work out in her favour.
I had a cheeky smile on my face, I know I did … mind games sometimes have been a pass time favourite thing for me. Benjamin wanted to know what I was thinking since there was a devilish smile on my face. I asked him how often his ex complimented him? He laughed that if he forgot
to mention his ex looked great in a dress, he would never hear the end of it. But not once did she mention anything about him and his success. He laughed as he recalled some of her temper tantrums, it could be over the smallest thing too. My smile became more devilish if that was even possible. I told Benjamin that he needs to prove to the judge that his ex is a narcissist manipulative dog. That is alienating the children from the father’s side of the family. If he played his card right and does not lose his temper nor show any emotions while she is speaking, it could work. If Benjamin says the right thing and does the right action, everything works out in the end. Benjamin started to belly laugh and said I am a manipulator! I did not deny it one bit at all. I am actually really good at it too. I study what I need and want to know, I plot out what the course of action is going to be. This helps with understanding the person’s characteristics and behavioural traits.
Everyone has habits, some can pick up on them and try to change it, but they will find that they have created new habits. Understanding the mind of the person is the first key. I asked Benjamin if he has any old family videos with his ex in them? Of course, he was kind of like “yeh, why?” I was glad to hear those words, all I needed to do was watch a couple of videos, and I could build a behavioural analysis of her. He started to laugh and ask if I was a cop? That is one thing that I have never been asked before. I just enjoy understanding the minds of others and how to outsmart them at their own game.
Things had been silent for a bit when Benjamin declared that if he had to make a bet on who would win in a fight me or his ex, he would pick me. And he would record the look on his ex-face when she was outwitted. I laughed so hard at the mental image in my mind. I have always enjoyed a good challenge, that is for sure. Benjamin wanted to know when I started to analyze peoples personalities.
I guess it started when I was in high school, I wanted to know why I was so completely different from others. Once I started that out, I wanted to know the various religions and why people follow it. I wanted to know why each religion disliked other that were different from them! And the interest just kept on growing. The human psyche is fascinating and yet frustrating too. You try to understand why someone is the way they are, and if that behaviour clashes with yours, it does causes issues. I try to be understanding and open-minded. I am no different than anyone else, pushed or nudge the right way, and I will move. I just try to keep everything open and in perspective. I was shocked that Benjamin listened to everything that I had to say. He kind of reminded me of Peter in this way. I was asked why I enjoy the human mind, and not crafts and things like that?
Crafts and things are boring, you finish one to go onto something different. There are no mental challenges there, but to understand the who, what, where, when, and why’s? That is a challenge, and if it goes against your beliefs or behaviour, you then get to question yourself. You get to peel away several different layers of an onion to get to the centre. And sometimes just when you think you have figured things out, you could be rechallenged. Stepping back to your question earlier! It should have been phrased as ‘what is wrong with my ex?’ I watch his head shake back and forth slightly, I was wondering why he would do this. He told me that he was wrong, that I am not a manipulator but a deep thinker! I verbally disagreed with him, I am just as much a manipulator as a deep thinker. In reality, we are all capable of being a manipulator, there are just different levels. That is when Benjamin said he had to remember to be careful around me. Which was spoken in a playful manner! In my mind, I thought that there was some truth behind his words. And I do believe its rightfully so. It is not because I have creatures that others can not see after my energy. It is because by nature, I am respectful and humble. On the other side of the coin, just like others if I am threatened, I will react. So yes, Benjamin rightfully should be careful around me.
The topic was dropped, and we had moved on to a different subject. Television shows and movies! The one area that I have no knowledge about. I thought Benjamin was going to have a heart attack when he found out I did not have a television. Then I told him that I just gave my decade-old phone a proper burial. He then wanted to know my favourite music band. In which I had to confess again that I do not listen to music unless I am in a place that is playing the radio. And I do not have a radio at my old place to listen to. That is when he asked me if I knew what the internet was. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants. I said of course I do and I had an old school notebook along with a desktop computer that I got around 2000. In the back of my mind, I was thinking yeah if it was not a disaster! It was his turn to have a good laugh and almost pee his pants. I was asked by Benjamin if I like to keep up with the times. That was easy to answer, I do like to keep up with the times, I just refuse to give corporations anymore of my money than I have to.
There is nothing wrong with technology! It has benefited farmers a great deal. Science has moved along so fast. And the everyday mo- jo’s life a lot smoother. The problem is, large corporations are telling everyone, ”you need to have this” and “you need to have that!” They say all the reasons why you must buy their product. And to make the deal sweeter, they break up the total into a contract. Landing you into a commitment that you are obligated too. Things are not made like the good old days. A car or truck would last if cared for and in great condition for years. Now you have this issue and that issue, so what do you do … trade it in for something new and better. The contract starts all over again. The cycle continues!
For our economy to thrive, we must provide goods and services, a steady flow of money, and needs and wants! Corporations know damn well how to market everything to the general public. Everything relies on the spending of the people. Here is the problem I have, they, meaning corporations trying to tell me what I need! See, I do not need what they want me to buy, I want what I need to survive!
Next problem is, the cost of technology has gone up, living costs have gone up, and we have not gotten smarter. We keep on spending, creating new debts. In a nutshell, we all have a skill or trait that we have owned. Before money, trading back and forth services kept a balance. Now let us add in currency. Currency becomes wealth. Wealth equals our value. Those that want more currency will create what they want others to believe is valuable. Trapping others in a continues cycle. If you think that their product or service is valued, you will want more.
I do not get wealthy from something that is going to break or be outdated in months after buying it. So I only get what I need with no contract. This way, I have what I need, and I feel as if the wealthy do not get all of my hard-earned money. In this circle, I still stay as wealthy with only needed items and services! This is my viewpoint on the economy, the economy will slowly decline! And with this stress is building up even higher. The inevitable will happen, the economy will be on a downslide, and I am hoping there is a net to catch a lot of those that are going to fall.
Benjamin was like “wow that is deep! I think you analyze things a little too much”. I laughed, and stated I was just pointing out the obvious! So getting back to the main reason I went on a rant I told Benjamin that I will never knock anyone down for wanting this or that, I just do not see the importance of having to have such a thing when I can spend my money on more important things … like the most NEEDED! While Benjamin was laughing, he spouted out that I was weird. I found humour in his observation. That brought my mind to a past event that happened to me, and I thought Benjamin would laugh and find it amusing, so I shared it with him.
I had just started my single-serving pot of coffee machine. I turned on my computer because like an old dog, it took time to wake up but once awake moved perfectly. I was in the washroom when I heard a knock at the door. I knew it was not my friends because they would have already been to school. I peeked through the peek hole and saw a man that I did not know. I opened up the door a bit, making sure my foot was behind it in a way that I had leverage if he should try to barge into my place. He started off asking me if the man of the house was home. I told him no! And he was like ‘oh so I guess I can talk to you.’ This had rubbed me the wrong way. When I looked at his shirt, I noticed a tag with his name on it that had the local sign for one of the major corporations that sales home phone, internet and cable. Over the top of the logo was his name. I can not remember his name now, but I do remember my feelings towards him. I found him to be an irritant. This was brought on more so by the fact I woke up late and had not had my coffee nor smoke yet. And his disruption to my routine and mannerism, well it aggravated me. So I listened to his sales pitch. I knew in the back of my mind I would not be getting anything from this person, but figured I would try to hide my feelings and be polite and let him continue with his job. He was selling internet and cable as a package deal. When I had told the man that I already have internet with a different company, he tried to inform me that his services were better than what I have now and I needed to switch to them. I looked at him dead in the eyes and asked him how did he know what I needed and did not? He explained to me that until the person has the product, they do not understand what they need. I was like, “oh, really!” So the company that I am with is incompetent, and you are superior. That is when he made the biggest mistake of saying “yes.” I stepped outside of my little bachelor’s apartment and ripped him a new one. I went up one side of him and down the other. I was so loud that my neighbours popped their heads out to see the commotion. I was like “how dare you to presume what I need and do not need … are you, my father? No! Are you my mother? No! Do you pay my bills, no, you do not! Do you bleed for seven days out of the month and live to tell the story, I think not! So you have no idea what I need! Get lost!” When he tried to head in the direction that was not out of the building, I told him to get out of the building. I might be a five-foot-five twig, but this twig would beat him black and blue so severely that his own mama would not recognize him. He then tried to claim I was threatening him. I informed him that it was not a threat but a promise if he did not leave the building now.
Thankfully what saved me from having charges laid on me was that I was living at the time in a secured building, and he was not allowed in. The cameras showed that he was waiting for the doors to open. Before the door was shut, he grabbed the door and let himself in. Unfortunately, I was given a heavy warning that any more threats like that, they would have to place charges on me.
I do believe that after my small little story, Benjamin realized I have a temper. The whole time I was telling my story, Benjamin was like “Oh no! Oh boy! This is not good!” Finally, he was like I “wish I were a fly on the wall to see this. A woman with spunk … I like it!” After this, we just sat there listening to music on the radio. I allowed my mind to go blank.