“I guess no matter how hard you try, you can’t escape your past.” – Joel Osteen

I was not even at the institution for two days when the cops came to visit me. I did not know if I should laugh or cry out of frustration. Laugh because the police are here to speak with me. Or cry because of the reason for their visit. I do believe the officer names were, Morgan and Anderson.

“Officers!” I opened the line of communication. “Miss Fox,” the one officer, addressed me. “We are here because of noise complaints, noise that is coming from your apartment. It is apparent that it is not you making the noise, who else lives with you. There was no reply at the door, and the landlord could not unlock the door.”

I believe my response to this information was “vaca sagrada!” Which means holy cow in Spanish. I asked the officer to lend me his pen and paper. There I wrote down Peter’s phone number and where to look for him. I told the officers that no one has an extra key to my place but Peter. And the only reason why Peter has my keys is so that he can get items that I require. I did not elaborate anymore!

That same day, it was like sixish in the evening, I received a phone call from Peter. After a proper greeting, I was like “sooooo … how bad was it?”

You have to remember this is not the first time Peter and I have been on this path! To lighten things up, the rule of thumb is we laugh! The worse the situation, the harder we laugh! I know it sounds crazy, but what else could I or anyone else do! It is not like I can go to the cops and say ‘yeah last night while I was gone, a ghost came into my home and destroyed it! Could you please come over here and arrest them?’ So yeah we laugh!

That is when Peter asked me what did I want to hear first the bad or the worst. I chuckled as I said give me the bad news first.

Peter cleared his throat and started to sing me the tale of “the two cops, the priest and the shady landlord!”

Officer Morgan and Anderson arrived
at the church just after 9.
the shady landlord was waiting at unit 129
Chastise, cursing and putting me down!
He snatched the keys out of my hand,
the door remained locked.
I can not imagine why?

I unlock the door with easy
Books were flying across the room,
chair on the ceiling,
a tornado went through your place.
Oh, by the way, you have been given an eviction notice!
He is billing you for the damages.
Oh but do not worry too much,
a box fell on his head.

Morgan and Anderson were nice,
they told the landlord he does not need cops,
but a priest instead!
They shooked my hands and said, have a great day.

Nothing there is salvageable!
Sorry, my dear friend,
the time has come,
you must move again!

Peter was a teacher of the Bible, not a music writer, I will at least give him an E for effort! Without singing, Peter told me that the landlord wanted the officers to take note of all the damage that was done to the property. That he planned on suing me for property damages.

Officer Anderson laughed at the landlord and said there was no way that he would win the case. When the judge finds out the whole story, the case will be thrown out of court.

Thankfully Peter did take pictures for me, so I had proof of what was going on. A safeguard just in case the shady landlord follows through with his threat. There was only one thing that Peter grabbed for me, and that was my runaway duffle bag. If I ever had to run for safety, that was the bag I would get and go!

I told Peter I will probably hire a group of people to go in and get the place cleaned and move everything out. If there is nothing that I can reuse, it should just go to the dump! Peter said that the majority of the items are only good for a fire pit! After we had a good laugh, I asked Peter what the worst news was?

The line went dead for a second! There was no laugh … “I thought I told you the worst news already. You may have to go to court!” that is when I laughed again, okay I was a little slow on the ball there. I thought there was more to the story! Eh, I can handle that news! First time I have ever had the word court thrown in my face, but I do not think I will have troubles there. It is not like the landlord has much of a case! Two cops and a bible thumper on my side verse shady money grabbing slum landlord! Hmmm, I wonder who will win?

Leave a Reply