Not only are you assigned a doctor here you are placed in a group that is believed to help assist you with your needs. Mrs. Lang was the leader of the group that I had been asked to go to. She had asked me to sit down in a chair and make myself comfortable. The atmosphere was relaxing enough. We were provided with standard plastic chairs. Honestly, this was like being back in high school all over again, everyone heading to the gym for an assembly. And students get to sit on those terrible plastic chairs or if you were lucky benches.
There were two chairs available one besides Mrs. Lang and another beside someone that looked like he could snap me like a twig with his arms. So I sat promptly beside Mrs. Lang. I took up my favourite position. Knees up to my chest and my ankles crossed with my arms wrapped around my legs.
I smiled at Mrs. Lang when she gave me a questionable expression for a look. Without her lips moving, I heard in my mind her saying ‘that is not the right way to sit”. I really do try hard not to listen to the thoughts of others. I view it as a woman and her purse or a man and his wallet, you just stay out unless otherwise told. Though from time to time it does happen that I do hear what a person is thinking.
When I was a child, I started to end peoples sentences. Some would laugh at the fact that I could do this. Then I got into my teens, and it went from ending sentences to in visioning what the person was talking about. For example, if my friend was thinking about their dead dog. I could see that and be like do you remember the time you took Bruno to the beach … and my friend would be like, I was just thinking about that. And I would get my friend to smile with the thoughts of positive memories. And then there was also the other side of the coin. I would not say that they were my friends more like associates or frienemies. They would be beeping off about something that had their panties in a knot. They would be telling their side of the story. And I would see the event playing in their mind. They would tell everyone something totally different from what I was seeing. Changing things to make them appear better or playing the victim. In the beginning, I would not say anything to the storyteller. Then over time I would pipe up and be like “really that is not what I heard … so and so told everyone that blah blah blah”. Which in the end, was the storyteller fabricating the story to make them sound in the right. Needless to say, it did cause a lot of affliction, many times I would end up in many verbal battles.
I started to grow a reputation at school for someone who will call you on your B.S, some that found this amusing called me the human lie detector. This is something that just happened and grew with strength from a child and up until now. As the years went by and the more time I spend with an individual, it happened more frequent. A complete stranger is a hit and miss kind of thing. I find that the more emotionally distressed the individual is, the more I am able to accumulate information. Add this to the list of one of the many reasons I avoid people … we are far too emotional. Now let us get back to the topic of Mrs. Lang and her group conversations!
Several times Mrs. Lang would look over her right shoulder at me. And each time I would give a pleasant smile. Each time I would hear … “that is not the proper way to sit’. I had to chuckle to myself, I knew that how I positioned myself was aggravating Mrs. Lang. I know I should not find humour in this, but I do! It kinda reminds me of a little kid thing, pushing harmless buttons to get under someone’s skin. There really is no personal gain from doing this, but for some odd reason, we do it anyways.
Mrs. Lang had been average in height for a female. Warm brown eyes, if I had not been harassing her. Mrs. Lang had black hair with long bangs and a ponytail at the back. I would say that she was medium built, a rounded jaw and a small nose and broad chested. I would say that Mrs. Lang is close to her forty’s. It was the beginning of the laugh lines, and how she held herself that made me guess her age. If she is older, she defiantly takes excellent care of herself.
Structure-wise, Mrs. Lang appeared to be the type of person that demanded respect and gave a sense of leadership. If I had to imagine what her home life was like, I would guess that she made the decisions for the household and everyone was expected to follow without any questions. I would say that Mrs. Lang is an alpha female and believes that she is above all women and many males. She thrives off of leadership and others looking up to her for guidance. If anyone had challenged her, Mrs. Lang might find it to be a threat. Mrs. Lang probably would not tolerate nonsense nor disobedience. So it is not surprising at all that she is working here.
How Mrs. Lang assembles herself on the chair, it tells everyone that she is firm and pretty focused. With the back straight and both feet on the ground, there is little room for games. Her voice is clear and to the point. When she is talking, she looks directly at you, and I would assume she would expect the same. When she moves the group to the floor, she balances on her knees. To do this for an extended period of time shows others her ability to stay in control and has a lot of balance. Showing her strength for her position and lead others accordingly. So what will happen when she comes across a person like myself. Well let me be frank, I did not want her leadership nor her guidance, I had not asked for any of this. I would picture that she would find me to be defiant, rude and without any appreciation for what is being offered. Someone of Mrs. Lang’s structure would have a massive issue with me. Or I could be just reading more into this than there is. Than again …
Mrs. Lang did ask me to make myself comfortable, what is suitable to one individual may not be for the next. When she had asked me to put my feet down on the floor to be more comfortable. I responded with “I am content, thanks for asking.” I already knew that it was not a question but more of an order. I am not a sheep and fully capable of making my own decisions! And then there was the next situation where she asked me if I wanted to say anything, you know to add to the group discussions. I stated, “no, I had nothing to talk about.” And then there was this group activity. Where one person was to close their eyes and another person was to walk closer. The person with their eyes closed would open them once they started to feel uncomfortable. And I did not participate in this activity. Mrs. Lang had wanted to know why, I promptly responded, “because there is not one person at this institution that I would ever remotely trust.” I am the type of person that if you ask me a question you have to be ready for any reply. I am fully well aware that I could play nice, but that is not as much fun!